Friday, March 17, 2006

Love Me, Love My Age Spots!

My friend Loretta wrote a great entry on Perfectionism on her blog, Observations of a Misfit, (see my links) and she makes the statement 'dare to be defective'. She has a way with words that really get to the point and make me think. Her entry has made me think about my feelings about my upcoming birthday.

Birthdays have never bothered me before. Turning 20, 30, 40 and even 50 didn't faze me in the least, but turning 60 is another story and I am doing alot of thinking about why.

I think part of it is that I lost my mother when she was 68. Am I subconsciously counting down my own life expectancy? I don't know, but it is something I've considered.

I'm the oldest now since my sister died in an accident 6 years ago this month. I always, always thought we would grow old together--and now that dream is gone forever.

Sharon's 60th birthday would have been in December, 2003. She was supposed to get there first. She paved the way in life and I always had the security of her knowledge and experience and I miss that so much.

Perhaps when I turn 60 I'll celebrate it for us both.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh momma, i know it must be so hard. ((hugs))
but you cant go anywhere because what would i do without you, what would i do?
love u. hd

3/18/06, 6:27 PM  
Blogger Ronni said...

My mother died much earlier than she should have. Something to do with smoking, I think. She was 72, and it was her heart. I had to do the whole child-rearing thing without her. Now that both my parents and Husband's are gone, I feel very alone.

3/18/06, 11:46 PM  

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