Thursday, November 30, 2006

Ready, Fire....Maim

So Paul asked me a couple weeks ago to buy him a slicer so he could slice his red onions and tomatoes for his lunch sandwiches. Against my better judgement, I bought him a Oneida Mandolin Slicer at Kohls on Black Friday.

When I gave it to him, I warned him about the blade. It was very sharp. Later, when he unpacked it, tossed aside the directions (and the safety handle) I again reminded him about the blade. He rolled his eyes at me, so I left the kitchen and went into the living room and watched tv. I didn't hear his muffled cursing or anything flying across the kitchen, so I was a little surprised when he came into the living room later with his thumb in a bandage. Yep. He cut his thumb. That was a few days ago.

Tonight, I was putting away a few groceries when he asked me where I put the slicer. I told him (having already told him a few days ago) and went about my business. A few minutes later he was slicing an onion and suddenly he pulled his hand away and he had sliced off the entire side of the tip of his index finger on his right hand. I knew immediately this was more serious than a bandaid fix and told him he was going to the ER. At least he didn't argue with me.

The doctor didn't want to try and reattach the piece of finger I had packed in ice and brought in a small baggie (hey--I watch GA--even though I missed seeing it tonight--I didn't think the ER staff would let me change the channel on the waiting room tv so I wouldn't miss Dr McDreamy--and it might seem a little uncaring while your husband is in the ER bleeding--but it did cross my mind) ... and Paul had to have 5 stitches to stop the bleeding and close the wound. And a tetanus shot and prescription for antibiotics.

The Oneida is resting comfortably in the dumpster.


Anonymous Sandi said...

OMGosh!!!! Don't tell Paul I was cracking up with the first few lines....I KNEW it would have this kind of ending! Men...they just don't listen, or read directions...EVER! Jerry is the same way, and I usually don't try to get him to help me put anything together, it is easier for me to do it myself. I hope he is not feeling any pain, and his finger is going to be okay. I would pick you to be with me in an are very level headed! (Who else would have thought of the piece of finger in a baggie with ice!)

12/1/06, 5:51 PM  

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